tears rolled down my cheeks as soon as the texting stopped. i have no idea what's going on now.
sigh.
cheer up.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Sunday, February 7, 2010
Fatigue
i'm feeling the effects of burnout, as a result of overtraining i guess.
recently, i made the decision, along with Christo, to paddle for RP and SAFSA; Louis paddling for SAFSA only. both teams are training on weekends, RP in the morning, SAFSA in the noon. and because both sides are starting to pick up the training volume and intensity, i'm getting more fatigued.
i'm just really worried that i won't be able to pull through this. but i really don't want to let go of either team. for now, i just got to keep finding motivations to keep me going.
it's POL-ITE and SDBF glory i'm looking for, and i will push hard enough to get them.
recently, i made the decision, along with Christo, to paddle for RP and SAFSA; Louis paddling for SAFSA only. both teams are training on weekends, RP in the morning, SAFSA in the noon. and because both sides are starting to pick up the training volume and intensity, i'm getting more fatigued.
i'm just really worried that i won't be able to pull through this. but i really don't want to let go of either team. for now, i just got to keep finding motivations to keep me going.
it's POL-ITE and SDBF glory i'm looking for, and i will push hard enough to get them.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Ending My Polytechnic Days
my days in RP is coming to an end. in about 3weeks, i'll be done with school. the only reasons for me to come back after that would be for Dragon Boat trainings and, probably, for graduation.
never has it occurred to me that there is a possibility of it ending in a sad/ bad way. initially, i believed that the close friends i have here in my tertiary institution will continue staying in contact with me, and vice-versa. however, it seems that i'm likely to be wrong about this.
being my closest friend, i never thought things could have gone so wrong. i'm so worried now that the moment school ends, we'll hardly ever see or contact each other again.
i don't want anything like that to happen. and you know that whether or not it will happen, it depends on you.
never has it occurred to me that there is a possibility of it ending in a sad/ bad way. initially, i believed that the close friends i have here in my tertiary institution will continue staying in contact with me, and vice-versa. however, it seems that i'm likely to be wrong about this.
being my closest friend, i never thought things could have gone so wrong. i'm so worried now that the moment school ends, we'll hardly ever see or contact each other again.
i don't want anything like that to happen. and you know that whether or not it will happen, it depends on you.
Monday, January 25, 2010
Severe Headache
blur vision.
headache.
felt like vomiting.
felt like dying.
i read online the causes of headaches; listed on a website were depression, stress, severe hunger.
i can only think of one cause, i was simply thinking too much.
i woke up fine this morning, confirming my thoughts.
i guess i'll have to try to let go, but i cannot confirm that i can do so.
headache.
felt like vomiting.
felt like dying.
i read online the causes of headaches; listed on a website were depression, stress, severe hunger.
i can only think of one cause, i was simply thinking too much.
i woke up fine this morning, confirming my thoughts.
i guess i'll have to try to let go, but i cannot confirm that i can do so.
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Pessimism
worried about the future. worried about us drifting further. it's tough not to think of such things, seeing the way things are right now.
i want the old 'US' back. i don't like what we are now. i miss you, i miss us. but there's nothing i can do about anything now, except to wait for time to pass, so slowly, so painfully.
it's only been awhile and my kite seems to be flying further away from me. not exactly what i expected of 'flying high'.
i want the old 'US' back. i don't like what we are now. i miss you, i miss us. but there's nothing i can do about anything now, except to wait for time to pass, so slowly, so painfully.
it's only been awhile and my kite seems to be flying further away from me. not exactly what i expected of 'flying high'.
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